I need to clarify something
Dear world
I’m not into black men. Here’s the shocker — I’m into men. SoI find some black men attractive. OK, fine, I find many black men attractive. But it isn’t their skin colour that’s attractive. Can you wrap your head around the possibility that I actually find their personalities to be attractive? Their beautiful minds? Or their other features? Oh, and just to clarify things a bit more…I’m not attracted to all black men; I’m attracted to some black men just as I’m attracted to some coloured, white and Indian men.
So please stop telling me about that hot Zimbabwean dude whom you know I’ll like cause I’m ‘into black men’. Or no, wait, now that I think about it, please do introduce me to him 
Love and hugs
is it possible that at a generic level we are attracted to a group, before narrowing down to a specific one within the group. Maybe we have done this so many times we take it for granted, that we are attracted to human beings… at a basic start. within the human being group then we may be attracted generically to religious, social, cultural, racial, ethnic, tribal… really as many as the groupings that may exist in our minds. at this superficial level we are probably weeding those who statistically may not share the interest that we are seeking. Now, naturally those interests may also be found in other outside groupings but the chances of hitting the jackpot is lower.
So I am not into white women… I find white women attractive(generally), YES IT IS their skin color that helps me realize they are white. and within this group my chances of meeting the attractive attributes that a cherish is higher. but i WILL probably decide to settle for one white woman, not all. and if i could find a black or green woman with these attributes i would be as happy as i would be with the white woman.
so please tell me about that hot white Zimbabwean girl you know of because Iam into white women.. or no wait, now that i think about it please don’t introduce me to her at all because she may have black culture.
Smile
me3051968
19 Mar 10 at 3:26 PM
Could it be that we are attracted to the familiar and to people who look like us? And let’s throw in some social conditioning as well about preserving ‘our’ ethnicity or race. Race doesn’t seem relevant when I’m trying to find someone with a good sense of humour, a razor sharp mind and an interest in modern Chinese literature. That guy might be a German or a Finn, and not Chinese. So I don’t see why the chances of winning the dating/mating jackpot would be lower by dating outside of the other ‘groupings’.
What’s ‘black culture’ anyway? And, while I accept we all have ‘preferences’, should they not remain just that — preferences? So it’d be wonderful if we could hook up with someone who fits our profile 100% but we’d be happy to date whoever fits most of our criteria. Besides, what if our ‘perfect partner’ finds us boring/repulsive/st00pid?
Joy-Mari Cloete
19 Mar 10 at 4:06 PM
If you think of relationship as a road, and each of our qualities are contained within the banks of the road. The opposite bank of the road delimits the elasticity of our preference of any person we meet. Anytime any selected characteristic or habit breached the boundaries we either never start the relationship or break it up. The issues and their elasticity are naturally all different for different people; for example monogamy fits perfectly at the center of the road and is acceptable for most people, flirting or cheating may be stretch or a snap, polygamy is a definite snap for many people. and for one person there are many issues. Now throw in another person who has his/her road and expectations and this is too complex. However in reality it is much less complex because of an unfair weeding out process that is done without interviewing all people in the world. Naturally a lot of it is stereotyping unless you share school, work or other activities that bring you in close proximity so that the subconscious stereotypes are erased.
Interest in modern Chinese Literature is an example of what we do (even if its a hobby), not who we are. Who we are, which is the most attractive thing about people, is how we go about what we do: Rudely, intelligently, courteously, putting the toilet seat down or domineering the discussion about how to reach the airport. And this is what we relate to in a day to day situation. This is who we are and it more difficult to learn to be a new “who we are” than to learn a new “what we are”.
“Who we are” is conditioned from the first day we are born. The probability of meeting a polygamous person is higher amongst practicing Yemeni Muslims or Salt lake city Mormons than Icelandic people. So if your deal-breaker is monogamy, you may need to discuss polygamy with a Muslim or Mormon much more seriously that you would with that Icelandic date. You may actual even actively weed them out of consideration, even though you know that not all of them believe in polygamy.
So. You never get one who fits your profile 100% but one who fits into your limits of tolerance, any person who is out is of the limits of your tolerance is probably that person you never went to a date with. You probably were not scientific about it. Doesn’t feel right, or was not good looking enough is enough reason not to go.
Black culture, christian culture, American culture, African culture etc are not really scientific words but stereotypical perceptions which MAY influence the decisions of meeting or not meeting somebody….
I think.
me3051968
19 Mar 10 at 5:20 PM