Digital Immigrant

Very nearly did I type ‘atheist’. I came close.

I’m starting to feel disillusioned about the ‘atheist community’, if ever there were such a thing. I’ve identified as an atheist, among other things, for more than half my life. And I’m ‘only’ 29.

I used to frown whenever people would ask me what I believe. I used to put my ‘religion’ down as atheist but I felt angry that they saw atheism as a religion. OK, I still do.

All of that is changing now. I’m now starting to give thought to what, exactly, I believe in. Post for another day, methinks. And I now hesitate to call myself an atheist. I’ve never liked that word — atheist. Who calls themselves an aSantaist? Or an atoothfairyist? Why do we who not believe in deities have to define ourselves on what we are not?

But that’s not the only reason why I now prefer to use different words to describe myself. Much of my reasoning is due to how certain atheists are starting to define atheism. Many of these atheists are not only sceptical about the existence of deities; they’re against all religion. And think that this world would be better without religion. Or they insist that atheism means more than the ‘dictionary definition’ of a godless heathen.

I can’t get behind such sentiments. I know I’m not very rational — I still jump to conclusions and I still have knee-jerk reactions to certain things. The word Jesus is one of them. ‘Saved’ is another. But I try to see the person behind the words. The person behind the beliefs.

And this is something that few people in the ‘atheist community’ do. Too few.

I’m tired of having to defend religion from tired generalisations. Yes, I get it: people have done awful things in the name of G-d. But people do terrible things regardless; religion is often just a cover and an excuse for doing something they would’ve done anyway. And sometimes, just sometimes, people use it as an excuse to do good.

I still identify as atheist on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays; I identify as a naturalist on all other days. But I’ll hand in my resignation once ‘atheist’ starts to mean anti-theist because that I most certainly am not. Not when I attend the local Unitarian church. Not when some of my good friends are deists and theists. And most especially not when I see all the good that some aspects of some religions perpetuate.