I’m starting to feel disillusioned about the ‘atheist community’, if ever there were such a thing. I’ve identified as an atheist, among other things, for more than half my life. And I’m ‘only’ 29.

I used to frown whenever people would ask me what I believe. I used to put my ‘religion’ down as atheist but I felt angry that they saw atheism as a religion. OK, I still do.

All of that is changing now. I’m now starting to give thought to what, exactly, I believe in. Post for another day, methinks. And I now hesitate to call myself an atheist. I’ve never liked that word — atheist. Who calls themselves an aSantaist? Or an atoothfairyist? Why do we who not believe in deities have to define ourselves on what we are not?

But that’s not the only reason why I now prefer to use different words to describe myself. Much of my reasoning is due to how certain atheists are starting to define atheism. Many of these atheists are not only sceptical about the existence of deities; they’re against all religion. And think that this world would be better without religion. Or they insist that atheism means more than the ‘dictionary definition’ of a godless heathen.

I can’t get behind such sentiments. I know I’m not very rational — I still jump to conclusions and I still have knee-jerk reactions to certain things. The word Jesus is one of them. ‘Saved’ is another. But I try to see the person behind the words. The person behind the beliefs.

And this is something that few people in the ‘atheist community’ do. Too few.

I’m tired of having to defend religion from tired generalisations. Yes, I get it: people have done awful things in the name of G-d. But people do terrible things regardless; religion is often just a cover and an excuse for doing something they would’ve done anyway. And sometimes, just sometimes, people use it as an excuse to do good.

I still identify as atheist on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays; I identify as a naturalist on all other days. But I’ll hand in my resignation once ‘atheist’ starts to mean anti-theist because that I most certainly am not. Not when I attend the local Unitarian church. Not when some of my good friends are deists and theists. And most especially not when I see all the good that some aspects of some religions perpetuate.

TED.com granted me a license to organise a 1-day event on either 1 or 2 December. This happened only last week so planning has started — in earnest!

I already have a smallish team — mostly friends — to help me manage everything. Little do they know that they’ll be managing everything and I’ll just be calling the shots and revelling in the glory afterwards

This is big. This is really big. And I’m surprised, impressed, and inspired by my applying to host something like a TEDx event. Surprised because I would never have guessed… Impressed because, well, come on, wouldn’t you also be pretty chuffed with yourself? And inspired because I’m curious to see what’s next.

But those elephants will have to find a different host…

I remember reading an interview with someone once and she said that she isn’t a feminist — she doesn’t go to rallies. That got me thinking. Was she joking? Or was she serious?

Do people think you need to protest to be a feminist?

Here’s my list of 100 Feminist activism ideas that are SO not set in stone and that SO does not center around rallies. Being a feminist activist is much easier than it looks like: you just need to start voicing an opinion.

1.    Befriend a girl

Girls need to interact with women who aren’t related to them. And girls need role models. Even better if these role models identify as feminist.

2.    Befriend an older woman

We can be mentors to young ‘uns but old ‘uns can also mentor us. Find someone in your community or through your business contacts and reach out to them.

3.    Talk to an anti-feminist

The easy part is that you’ll find anti-feminists everywhere. The difficult part is in not alienating them. Reach out to them to find out what worries them about feminism. Fear is powerful.

4.    Replace Wikipedia’s androcentric language with gender neutral language

The best part about this is that it’s so easy to do. Replace ‘he’ with ‘they’; replace ‘his’ with ‘theirs’; replace ‘him’ with ‘them’.

5.    Write letters to editors and sub-editors about their language policy

Writers’ job is to inform and educate but they do sometimes get things wrong – ‘ombudsman’ instead of ‘ombud’; ‘spokesman’ instead of ‘spokesperson’. Ask the relevant people what their take on this is and whether they’d consider changing it to better reflect our changing times.

6.    Support female sports teams, especially ones that are outside of school or university.

How much support do these teams get? Get a bunch of your friends, foes and family members together and go cheer them on!

7.    Tell people that you’re not “one of the guys”

Why do some consider it the highest compliment when someone tells them ‘Oh, I think of you as one of the guys’?

8.    Call yourself a feminist

And leave out the ‘but’. Let’s stop the misinformation, subjugation and the hesitation surrounding feminism; let’s call ourselves feminists and reclaim the word as best as we can.

9.    Pay your employees/freelancers a decent wage/salary

‘Nuff said.

10.    Promote women where possible

There’s no need to exaggerate accomplishments but try to gush about women you know: their goals, their determination, their spirit, their everything.

11.    Ask a woman’s opinion

Make someone feel special by asking her for her opinion. Especially a woman who normally keeps quiet during discussions. And then really listen to her.

12.    Explain why ‘bitch’, ‘you guys’ and ‘slut’ are problematic

It isn’t everyone who gets why this is a problem. Some will say that we should tackle ‘bigger’ problems or that we should pick our battles. But who’s going to take care of the ‘little problems’?

13.    Support pro-choice clinics

You can do this even if you are sure that you’ll never have an abortion.  Pro-choice says it all — we should be able to have the right to choose and not have someone else make our decisions.

14.    Support rape council clinics

Rape Crisis is doing an amazing job so please support them. You can support them financially or by volunteering.

15.    Talk to your partner about feminism

Explain to your partner how sexism affects you in your daily life. Explain the impact of advertising, of jokes, of people’s attitudes, etc.

16.    Ask people to explain sexist/racist/homophobic jokes that they tell you

This might make them see the joke in a different light. But doing this often might brand you as a kill-joy…

17.    Learn to cook

Let’s reclaim cooking and baking as activities that feminists can do. We’re not feminists of a lesser kind for cooking; we need to eat and take-aways are expensive.

18.    Learn to negotiate

How else are you going to get that promotion or payrise? Are you hoping that someone’s gonna notice your enthusiasm? It might not ever happen so learn to be your own agent.

19.    Take photos of women and put them on the internet

Progressive website designers will thank you because it’s really quite difficult to find photos of women that aren’t sexualised, in a domestic situation or ‘fun’.

20.    Don’t pick your battles

Who’s going to take care of the ‘little foxes that ruin the vineyard’ if all of us are picking our battles? The little things remind us of our place in the heirarchy so perhaps we should spend even more time on dismantling them.

21.    Ask women to speak at your next event

Even better, ask many women to speak at your next event. Make sure that the event is as diverse as your audience or community.

22.    Befriend a boy

Boys also need to interact with women who aren’t related to them. And they especially need role models. Even better if these role models identify as feminist.

23.    Befriend a man

Perhaps if boys are friendly with women who aren’t related to them, they’ll grow up to become men who have friends with women who aren’t related to them. This will be a big change from our current situation with many people thinking that women and men can’t be friends.

24.    Chair something

Especially if the thought scares you. Other people will see that a woman is the chair of something and slowly they might become more positive about women in business/civil society, etc.

25.    Attend rallies

This used to be the mark of a ‘true’ feminist. But we still need rallies – there are tons of issues that concern the greater good.

26.    Blog

Or write. About anything, everything and everyone. Write from a feminist viewpoint; write from a ‘regular’ viewpoint. But get your story out there.

27.    Guest blog

We should call guest blogging Blogging Squared. Or something. Because guest blogging compounds the size of our audience to the power of 5698, especially if a large and well-known (feminist) blog publishes your work.

28.    Improve your public speaking skills

Hey, I’m biased. I belong to Talking Heads toastmasters and I’m loving it.

This means that soon you’ll be jet-setting around the world to talk about issues that women face. Not? OK, then. This means you’ll find it easy to tell your friends or colleagues why they should give feminism a chance. And that’s perhaps one of the best reasons to give public speaking a chance.

29.    Help to make your religion women-friendly

Some feminists balk about this — they insist that religion is inherently sexist; other feminists reckon that we can change our religions for the better because we can infuse religion with good or bad. Let’s hope we infuse it with good.

30.    Learn about how your government works and contribute

Find out where they need more information, education and resuscitation. Contribute. Rinse and repeat a few times.

31.    Take good care of yourself

Activists especially need to take good care of themselves so that they don’t burn out. Smell the roses sometime and have fun while you’re trying to change the world.

32.    Be a BFF

Be part of one person’s support-system. We all need someone like that.

33.    Sharpen your critical thinking skills

Pair your critical thinking skills with a dash of the scientific method for the best effect. This will help you to avoid many scams and it will also help you to ward off illogicalness, especially illogicalness pertaining to sex and gender.

34.    Sharpen your debating skills

You’ll need good debating skills if you wish to lobby your government on behalf of feminist organisations. But you’ll also need good debating skills if you want to persuade someone that feminism is the right choice.

35.    Make art that challenges and pushes against the boundaries we’ve created

Art can change opinions. Screenplays, novels and music have helped to topple governments. So just imagine what it can do for feminism.

36.    Support women in business

Yes, I get that we have to support small business owners. I do. But we especially need to support sisters who are doing it for themselves. They are standing on their own two feet and ringing on their own bells. So we’ve all heard the statistics of women business owners struggling to get financing. Even more than men business owners struggle. Let’s support these women who are coming out of the kitchen.

With apologies to the Eurythmics.

37.    Attend lectures, talks by women for women

You’ll contribute towards the ticket fee, sure, but you’ll also help improve women speakers’ visibility. If more people attend shows, lectures and talks by women then we are working towards eliminating some of the negative perceptions surrounding women speakers — organisers of these shows will see that people want to listen to women talk!

38.    Try to apply the Bechdel Test to the media you consume

Try to find books, movies and plays that have at least two female characters who talk to each other about something other than a man. It’s the most basic feminist litmus test for media ever. It says nothing about the quality of the dialogue, though – they could be talking about shoes.

39.    Doubt

Doubt isn’t a negative trait. Doubt has tremendous power to make us think.

40.    Forgive your mother

Do you still carry some anger towards your mother? Forgive her if it’s possible. Or forgive your sister/aunt/cousin, etc.

41.    Surround yourself with feminists…and dissenters

Create your own cheerleading squad of feminists and temper them with a sprinkling of dissenters. Do this so that you always get a jolt back to the ‘real’ world.

42.    Become familiar with feminist theory

Just a bit so that your understanding of the issues that we face deepens.

43.    Show your excitement

It might rub off on someone.

44.    Challenge convictions, jokes, and values

It begins with asking ‘Why?’ We can change our opinions on things and perhaps you can be the catalyst for social change.

45.    Write your story: it all forms part of something bigger than ourselves – ‘’Herstory’’

We shouldn’t let 50% of our history evade us. And remember, women comprise 50% of the population. So we have to write down our own histories because chances are that no-one else will do it for us.

46.    Be bold

Have you ever noticed that your boldness gives someone else license to also be bold? Try it out next time you’re facing an empty dance floor. Start dancing and next thing you know everyone else is also dancing. It’s a sad truth that we first seek validation. So be brightly bold and lead the way for people to live the way you do.

47.    Challenge stereotypes and generalisations

Not all Nigerians are drug dealers; not all women are bad drivers; and not all men are incompetent at cleaning.

48.    Advocate for a better public transportation system

Some will argue that transportation is a feminist concern. Perhaps. Perhaps not. But surely it’s a problem that so many people, especially women, have to endure gruelling taxi rides? So yes, we have to reform the taxi industry but we also need alternatives. Public transport is one of them; bicycles, feet and other two-wheeled vehicles can be the other great alternatives.

49.    Watch television. And keep the media on the straight and narrow.

How will we know which ads are offensive if we don’t watch television? How will we know which television show needs to get training on gender issues? And how wil we know which production company is getting it right if we don’t watch television or listen to the radio?

50.    Don’t take yourself too seriously

Laugh a little. No, wait. Laugh a lot. Life’s fun and some scientists reckon that life as a feminist can be satisfying to an extreme degree.

51.    Develop, polish, and refine your elevator pitch

Your feminist elevator pitch might be the only one that the person you’re talking to hears.

52.    Learn to rebut ‘’surely there are bigger problems?’’

There will always be bigger problems. People are raping and killing other people. People are mutilating other people. Those are massive problems. But the ‘little’ problems are also damaging. They destroy our self-worth by reminding us where we ‘belong’ — in the kitchen. So let’s learn how to answer a question that assumes we aren’t also working very hard at eliminating the big problems.

53.    Talk feminism at unexpected times in unexpected venues

Talking feminism can be as light or as deep and thoughtful as you want it to be. Both can be effective but it’ll depend on your mood, your audience and the context. This will hopefully impress upon people that everyone benefits from dismantling sexism. And emphasise that the little things can make a massive difference.

54.    Be assertive

Other people will respect your boundaries only when you enforce them. You’ll be a role model to other girls and women when they see that people take you seriously. You know what you want, how you want it, in what size, and in what colour. And that is pretty amazing.

55.    Learn from other activist organisations

We’re all doing the same thing, really — trying to win other people over to our cause. The environmental lobby, the animal rights lobby, the feminist lobby, we’re all trying to improve the world. So we can — and should — learn from each other. What works, what doesn’t work, and how to improve our organisations.

56.    Create female protagonists

OK, I understand. You’re not a writer. But you tell jokes. You create ads for corporates. You write newspaper articles. You’re a creative creator of sorts. So create a joke that centers around a woman. Create an ad that has a woman in an active position. And write newspaper or magazine stories that centers around women.

57.    Remind yourself and others why we’re doing this

We’re human. We forget. We need to remember what things were like before we got certain freedoms. What it was like before we could vote; what it was like before we could own property; what it was like before we could become astronauts. Because only then will we remember why we fought so hard for those freedoms and then ‘they’ will struggle much harder to take those freedoms away from us next time around.

58.    Move beyond the ‘’equal pay’’ argument: equal social treatment is the next frontier

Many people only recognise the financial and legislative side of feminism. But what about the social side? Is chivalry really a good idea? Why do drop-down menus and radio buttons list ‘Mr’ first? And why do South African men have to get permission from the Director General if they wish to change their surname? OK, so the last one has to do with legislation but this is as much a societal problem — the assumption that men shouldn’t and do not want to change their surname.

59.    Make someone uncomfortable

OK, I know this sounds awful. We’re nice people, after all. But even nice people push boundaries. Be the asker of uncomfortable questions. Stir things up. Have some fun

60.    Nominate a feminist organisation in your will

Feminist organisations also need money and this is one of the ways in which you can make a difference even after your death.

61.    Keep your maiden surname or take your wife’s surname

At least strongly consider this. There are alternatives to what everyone else is doing: the husband can take the wife’s surname; you can create a new surname; use a double-barrelled surname, etc.

62.    Advocate for better childcare facilities

How many women find it difficult to attend lectures, conferences, and other events? Would they be able to attend if there were better childcare facilities?

63.    Write to your favourite women’s magazine and ask them to change their content in favour of women

It’s amazing that not even women’s magazines have much content that is women-friendly. There’s too much negativity about our bodies in the magaines that we read, perhaps partly because of consumerism but also because of our obsession with youth.

64.    Write to your favourite women’s magazine and ask them to reconsider the use of photoshop

65.    Praise magazines that do not use photoshop and that feature positive articles

Magazines need to know when they’re doing something right so praise them when possible.

66.    Buy the pants/skirt/shirt that fits

Ill-fitting clothes are uncomfortable. And, if clothing stores know that size 14 women do exist, perhaps we’ll start seeing better designs for fat women. Because, honestly, if you squeeze yourself into a size 10 instead of the proper size 14, they’ll start to think that size 14 is a four-letter word.

67.    Use eco-friendly menstrual products

I am a big advocate of eco-friendly menstrual products such as the menstrual cup and reusable pads. These products save you money – they’re a once-off buy; they prevent landfills from filling up as quickly; and there are some who argue that they’re healthier than bleached tampons and pads.

68.    For the love of chocolate, stop using ‘chick-lit’ to describe the novels that women write

Men write novels so why do we say that women write chick-lit? Why differentiate between male and female work?

69.    Call out victim-blaming

These views are so prevalent that they’re actually the norm in many circles. A questioning attitude might be the best approach.

70.    Don’t tell rape jokes

Why do we laugh at rape jokes, anyway? I don’t know but I know there are too many people who’ve been raped and who have had to undergo extensive counselling that I would be laughing at their suffering, even though it isn’t directly.

71.    Involve the police whenever you’re aware of violence or the threat of violence

It’s never a ‘domestic issue’; it’s a societal issue. And we all need to work together to reclaim our society. Umuntu ngumuntu ngabantu

72.    Hold the door open for a boy or a man.

I am glad to report that I’m having plenty of luck with this these days. I ‘apologise’ by telling them that I’m trying to be lady-like. We both laugh.

73.    Use ‘she/he’ or ‘women and men’

Why does the male term always appear before the female term? Language isn’t fixed; we     can change language to better reflect our reality. So do it.

74.    Stop passing as male, white, straight, young, etc

You know what? I need to stop passing as an English-speaking middle class person… because I’m not. So embrace being a woman. Embrace your femininity and everything else about you.

75.    Play with your language by talking about nonblacks

You’ll see how some people might appear shocked; other people might laugh and others might even challenge you on your use of that word. Most of us don’t even realise that there are alternatives to the phrases we use. So just do it.

76.    Scrutinise the laws in your area and lobby your government representative to change them

What do the laws say about gay adoption? Or about keeping your ‘maiden’ surname? How about paternity leave?

77.    Support sexual education initiatives

We’re lucky that we live in a country with one of the best constitutions in the world. But unfortunately, many rural women will never get the proper sex education that some of us take for granted. Get involved in initiatives that reach out to them — and also to women in your own communities. Married and older women, for example, are an oft-overlooked group — we often don’t realise that they are as vulnerable to myths surrounding AIDS and HIV.

78.    Get involved in community policing forums

Doing so will help to make the community a safer place for all but especially for women and girls.

79.    Reclaim public spaces

Guerrilla gardening is one such method. Park(ing) Day is another. Not all will agree that we need to reclaim public spaces but this is a great topic for discussion.

80.    Create a rape myth-buster

Let’s especially help to curtail the ‘she was asking for it’ myth. And the ‘I’m too hot and sexy to rape anyone’ myth. And the ‘did she scream loudly enough?’  myth

81.    Support feminist organisations

You can support them in any way you can. Are you a journalist? Perhaps you can ask their opinion on issues that affect women. Support them with money or other non-monetary donations. But the most sustainable option for many of us will probably be volunteering our time and skills in any way.

82.    Wear This is what a feminist looks like T-shirts and other feminist items

And please send us pictures!

83.    Link out. To people whose arguments advance feminism. To organisations that support feminism.

Linking is the life-blood of the internet. It is through linking that we learn about alternative viewpoints. So please link to this article!

84.    Review feminist podcasts on iTunes

Reviewing podcasts pushes them higher up the iTunes ladder so that more people end up seeing it.

85.    Contribute to the growing list of movies at Bechdeltest.com

The website lists movies that have to have at least two women in it who talk to each other about something besides a man. So have fun watching the movies you watch and then add them to the database.

86.    Arrange screenings of films that feminists may find interesting and challenging

Do this at your local school, church or community hall. Perhaps even where you work. Expand the list of topics to the green movement, to social justice, to analysis of the government. And invite as many women as possible but make sure you have enough daycare help.

87.    Arrange a tweetup, meetup, TedxWomen conference

Feminists can meet other feminists in this way. Ask everyone to bring a friend and perhaps some snacks too. Feminists gotta eat, you know?

88.    Let your politicians know that you appreciate their efforts around feminism

They’ll surely appreciate knowing about a job well done.

89.    Leave feminist literature wherever you go. Book-Crossing also springs to mind here

These do not need to be explicit feminist material; The Color Purple also counts.

90.    Use feminist buttons, bumper-stickers and screensavers

Make your passion visible. You can buy these items from CafePress or some other shop that stocks feminist things.

91.    Ask your library to stock women-friendly books. Also donate some of the books you no longer need to them

You’ll help to introduce people to ideas they might otherwise never encounter.

92.    Talk about this to schools, churches or other people in your community

Go where you’ll find people — school, church and work are the three places where you’ll find most people.

93.    Put a feminist banner on your blog

This tackles a couple of issues – it raises awareness of feminism and it also helps the feminist blogs that create them to rank higher in the search engines.

94.    Join Twitter, Facebook, Google+ groups that talk about feminism.

And please help to dispel any misconceptions surrounding feminism.

95.    Create a Youtube account and speak to a wider audience

Your Youtube account might reach someone who lives in an uber-conservative society and you might be their one link to the feminist community. If a feminist only makes a difference in one life, did she make a difference at all?

96.    Create a podcast and put it on iTunes

Get a bunch of your favourite people together, add some podcast software and start discussing what feminism means to you. Try to look at it from all viewpoints by including at least one person who disagrees with you. But try to find someone who is still thoughtful about their dissent.

97.    Create a feminist writing contest at local schools

PR is a great thing, innit? Perhaps your favourite feminist magazine or organisation can sponsor a prize for the young ‘uns.

98.    Write an ‘Ask a feminist’ column in your favourite magazine or newspaper

Make the offer. Someone, somewhere will take up your offer.

99.    Read anti-feminist material

You have to know what you’re fighting against…

100. VOTE

Dear Joy-Mari

I love that you are not afraid or ashamed to love, no matter whether it is reciprocated. It takes you months, sometimes years, to say those three words but that is not what really matters. What matters is that you love.

Your laugh is absolutely crazy and I adore you for that. Rock on, sista. Don’t ever tone it down for anyone, no matter who they are. So what if it gets you evil looks from across the room at places such as The One & Only? Who cares?

What really  amazes me is the way you can handle a compliment. That’s rare. Few people accept a compliment with as much grace as you. Thank you for giving people, even hot guys who compliment you, the benefit of the doubt

I feel safe with you. I know that you only want the very best for us. Not to mention your obsession with finding ways of improving our relationship — silent retreats, weekly check-in sessions, stealth hugs. Thanks for that.

And finally, you’ve grown so much as a person since I came to know you. It’s been fun to watch you progress from that silly 23-year-old (no offense, 23-year-old Joy-Mari) to the 28-year-old of today. Here’s to another 100 years together. OK, fine, another 90 years together should do the trick.

Much love,

Ekke

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JWUXXXJq8k]

A couple of thoughts: the white guys look like nice, decent and thoughtful potential partners. They look like someone I can meet on Dating SA. The black guys, however, are your stereotypical gangsters and thugs.

But that’s not my biggest problem with this Brandhouse ad; my biggest problem is that it seems to be condoning jail rape, which we all know is a big problem in South African prisons.

Here’s what Chris Roper says about the ad. And yes, I absolutely agree with him:

There’s no appeal to our civic sense, to our desire to do the right thing, to our awareness of how driving drunk can hurt others. No, what we’re selling is how driving drunk can hurt YOU.

The other thing that is problematic is that prison is already a punishment. Do we really want people to be afraid of being raped inside the place that is supposed to punish them for their behaviour? I realise that it is a reality; I realise that rape inside prisons happen. But what I do not condone is the attempt by Brandhouse to make light of it. “It’s ridiculous and reinforces the stereotypical image that people in prison are inherently bad and can’t be rehabilitated. That is deeply concerning,” – Lorenzo Wakefield at the Community Law Centre.

The one good thing about this campaign is the breathalyser machines inside drinking holes such as Mr Pickwicks in Long Street. I actually saw one there recently. Pop in a R5 coin and you can analyse your breath to find out whether you’re still within your  0,05 g per 100ml of blood.

The only thing that’s going to stop drunken driving is by making it socially unacceptable. Similar to how we’ve made it socially unacceptable to go without applying deodorant or how we’ve made women feel uncomfortable about their armpit hair. But the big difference is that this will actually save lives.

Question: Would we condone this ad if they used the threat of rape against women? If not, why is it OK to use it against men?

[dailymotion id=x22w6c]

So this is what I want to do. I want to collect pictures of your armpit hair. No, I’m not some kind of pervert. And no, you don’t need to show your face. I’m making a couple of assumptions here: that you grow armpit hair and that you’re a woman.

Please send all photos to joycloete@gmail.com and let’s get this revolution started.

2) Close the tab

3) Reopen the closed tab

4) Read the comments

5) Realise that your comment won’t be pithy enough to stand out

6) Go to bed

7) Curse yourself for reading blogs that have become far too popular for your own good
Wake up at 3am with a comment that might be good enough to feature in ‘Comment of the week’

9) Write a list-based post on the blog that you abandoned 3 months ago instead of commenting on the post

10) Save the post in the draft folder and only return to it a month later

11) Post it

I’ll be back though. I just need to reread Things fall apart for the nth time. It seems that some people think Achebe was sympathetic to the ‘woman question‘. I need to test this hypothesis. In the meantime I can recommend the following: Persepolis, Happiness, Pleasantville, I’ve loved you for so long, The rabbi’s cat, and ‘Reason‘ from I, Robot.

I took it and realised that it needs some work. The average person responding to the first question — In the dating game, nice guys always finish last –  might answer based on their limited sample of data: friends, family members and possibly acquaintances. Their answer might not reflect what they believe, but what they notice around them. I answered ‘Disagree completely’ because what is a ‘nice guy‘ anyway?

The second question: I am a heterosexual woman and this question erases my existence. I answered ‘Disagree Completely’.

The third question also seems to talk to a hypothetical male reader. I answered ‘Disagree Completely’.

The fourth question: well, I don’t know the answer. I answered ‘Disagree completely’ but who knows? Perhaps women are seemingly more adept at learning languages but because of nurture, not nature.

The fifth question: once again, nurture plays a role here. This might not have anything to do with nature so I answered ‘Disagree completely’. But let’s face it, men rarely talk about their feelings unless we press them for it. This is because our society believes that ‘real men don’t cry’ and other nonsense like that. Does this make me a sexist cause I happen to notice more women being comfortable talking about their feelings?

The sixth question: Yes, of course women worry more about their weight. We’re constantly bombarded by the media, by friends, by everyone that we should be young, pretty and skinny. This is not due to being hardwired to worry about our weight more often. Does it make me borderline sexist to answer ‘Agree completely’?

The seventh question: Once again we should ask why. Is it because of nature or nurture? Women are conditioned to want marriage and 2.5 children. It aint sexist to agree with this statement.

The eighth question: I can’t remember my answer.But the ‘very emotional’ bit would put me off a guy. Emotional is good on its own

The ninth question: ‘Agree completely’

The tenth question: ‘Agree completely’. Of course there are benefits to having stay-at-home mother, just as there would be benefits to having a stay-at-home father. It isn’t sexist to accept that. The problem is not with having a stay-at-home parent, the problem is that all too often it’s presented as the only choice available to women.